Review: If You Find Me by Emily Murdoch

If You Find Me is an evil book. It is just so perfect. Heartbreaking. And evil. When I first saw it I hadn't been planning to read it, why I don't know. But then a few people I know read and loved it. So I read a bit more about it, and I knew I needed to read it. And yesterday I did. Well, first I ordered the book yesterday, but it would take at least a week to arrive, and I wanted to read it right away, so I read it on my iPad. And oh. I'm so glad I did. Although I think I will re-read my hardcover pretty soon :) And then read it again and again.

What happens in the woods, stays in the woods. This is such a heartbreaking book. And I loved every moment of it. The only thing I would change would be the length of the book. I wanted it to never end. So yes. I wanted it to be longer. But it also didn't have to be, which is good, because it is perfect just the way it is. I'm hoping to find the right words to describe this perfection. First, the writing is so amazing, which I loved.

This book is told from the point of view of Carey. She is amazing. She's so strong and protective and just all kinds of awesome. She's broken, though. Really broken. That might have made me love her even more, though. She would do anything to protect her little sister, Jenessa. I adored that. They really love each other. Thing is, they live out in the woods. All alone, with their mother their just sometimes. Most of the time she is gone to town, to get supplies and get high. I hated her. Not sure I have ever hated a character more, even though we just see her in past-flashes. It was more than enough for me to hate her like crazy. Shouldn't be allowed to be that way.

The writing in this book is a bit different. But I loved it. I loved the writing so much. The different part is how Carey think and talk. Which I also loved, to be honest. She's kind of different, since she's had to live out in the woods in a kind of broken camper. They don't really have anything. Just a few pieces of clothes, and they mostly eat just beans. It broke my heart so many times. The life they have. It was just beyond awful and cruel and I loved it so extremely much. I'm just so glad that they had each other.

As you can read in the summary, the book starts with someone finding their camp. Their mom have been gone for about two months, and they are almost starving, they only have beans and the animals Carey manage to kill. That sort of killed me. This book is just so heartbreaking, and yet I loved it so much. I won't say that much about the plot. But Carey and Jenessa ends up having to go with their father, whom she and her mother escaped from when she was just five. At least so her mom said. Sobs.

Their lives changes so much in this book. And we get to see it all. I loved it. We get to know their father, who I kind of loved. He was amazing. But it takes a lot of time for Carey to trust him fully. I didn't blame her, though. He lives on a farm, where he has this amazing do who I adored. So cute. He and Jenessa fit together so well. Sigh. But he also have a wife and a step daughter, Delaney. I kind of hated her. But I also understood her. But she was so mean to Carey for a time.. Still, she's interesting.

I did love her mother, though, Melissa. She was just the sweetest. She really cared for Carey and Jenessa, and I loved that so much. They both get a new life. But it isn't easy; not at all. Because Carey have a secret. Well, okay, many secrets. But this is a big one, that involves why Jenessa isn't talking anymore. And it is a huge one. A heartbreaking one. And so perfect. It involves the white-star night. The truth of that night killed me. But it was also so perfect and honest and gah. Sobs. It broke me.

The plot in this book is amazing. It is about fitting in. Sort of. Not that usual fitting into school thing. If You Find Me is about fitting into the real world. After having lived in the woods so long that is hard for Carey. Jenessa have lived there her whole life. But oh. I loved reading about it all, about their struggles, and their small things of happiness. It was heartbreaking and heartwarming at the same time. I loved how protective Carey was over Jenessa. It was just perfect, and I loved her for it. She's just amazing.

We do get to see her go to school as well. I kind of loved that. It isn't too much, which I was happy about, but it's just right. Carey gets a friend, Pixie, and I adored her. She was fun and sweet. We also meet a boy. Ryan. And there is a romance in this book. It's small and it's sweet and it's just so amazing. I might have wished for more, but it was perfect. There is a past between Ryan and Carey, and I loved getting to know it. Sigh. Ryan was an amazing character. This one scene kind of killed me, though.

If You Find Me is a perfect book. It's really heartbreaking, but it's also sweet and a bit happy at the same time. I wouldn't have changed anything. Although the things that happen to Carey are heartbreaking, I loved reading about it, because it sort of makes her real, and it made this book different. And amazing. I know that I will re-read this book many times. It is just full of feelings. I would also love a sequel, though, and I really hope there might be one :) I just want more of Carey and Ryan and everyone.

I don't know what else to say about this book. I don't want to spoil it. Just know that I loved it like crazy, and it's really amazing, and you all need to go buy it right away. You won't regret it. Since I loved the writing, I know I will read anything by Emily. So I cannot wait for her to write more books :)

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