Wednesday, March 27, 2024

Review: I'm the Girl by Courtney Summers

I have finally read this newest book by Courtney Summers. I have been a fan of her for years now. Have read all of her books. I was waiting with this one, as I was unsure about it. I knew it was going to be a hard book to read. Yet I also knew I would like it, as I love Courtney's writing. But yeah. I am conflicted about this story. Ack.

And I think I'm ending up at a two star rating for it. I have so many thoughts to share about it. Some good, some bad. But the writing was gorgeous. Which I loved. Loved the older brother in this story as well. He was great. I liked the mystery of it all. But there were so many things that were a bit too much for me, that I did not like.

I'm honestly unsure about how to write this review. I'm going to try to keep it short. I had hoped that I would love this book. This isn't truly a genre that I love, but I love it when Courtney writes it. But I simply could not love this one. It was too disturbing and too weird for me, to be honest. But it was also very raw and real and honest and brutal too. Which I loved. I felt like this book was an important story. But it also was not for me. There were so many parts I wish I had never read. Yeah. Yet it was written so well. And the writing was great. But I did not like the main girl, Georgia. Not even one bit. Oh. And that do affect how I enjoyed the book as well. But yeah. It was not all bad. I really loved her older brother, ha. I liked that he took care of her. Well, how he tried to take care of her. Sigh. I liked the small mystery parts, the secrets and crimes.

But then there are the parts that I did not like. I'm going to try not to write too much. And to not write that much about the plot either. I may fail. And I think I will be including some spoilers too. This book is told from the point of view of sixteen-year-old Georgia. And that is where my issues started. As she was too young. And she was trying to act way much older. This girl is beautiful. And she knows it. And I get that this is supposed to be a good thing, her knowing her beauty. But I did not like it, sadly. It was too much.

Because she is always going on about it. How beautiful she is. How she looks at herself. And yes, I get that we are all beautiful. But she was a bit of a bad person about it, ha. This book starts with her having just gotten photographs taken of herself. By stealing so much money from her brother to make it happen. She was tricked, and does not even know it. Or care once she knew it. Because she loved looking at her own photos. Until she's hit by a car, breaks her arm, and her photos are stolen as she lies unconscious.

Oh, and when she starts walking after waking up from her accident, she discovers the body of a dead girl in the woods close to her. She has been raped. She was only thirteen years old. That hurt to read about, how it was described that she looked. But I also liked this crime part of the book, trying to figure out who did it, and if it was connected to Georgia being hit by a car on the same road. But in my opinion, this book focuses way too little on the crime. I wanted more details, more of trying to solve it all. And more danger.

A man ends up dead, and everyone says this guy was the one who killed the girl and ran over Georgia. But I did not get it at all. Sure, there were small evidence that he hit her with his car. But where was the evidence of the murder? It was not there. Yet everyone believed he had done it. It bothered me greatly, as he had obviously not done it. Ugh. The older sister of the dead girl, Nora, tries to figure out who killed her. She wants Georgia to help her. They sort of have a past, but they have never actually been friends.

I wish I could say that I liked their growing romance in this book. It could have been sweet. But I did not. Because Nora treated her so badly in the beginning. And I did not like it one bit. Sigh. And then Georgia kept lying to her, not telling her things. And I did not like that either. Especially not when Georgia started working at the Aspera lodge. She has always dreamed of working there, of being an Aspera girl. They are beautiful. She thinks they have the best job there. I did not get this dream at all, to be honest. Was weird.

Georgia lives with her older brother. Their mother died from cancer about a year ago. She did not at all want her to work at Aspera, as she worked there as a cleaner herself before. But Georgia does not get it. She hates her mother. And all she wants is that job. Then after her accident, she is picked up by one of the owners of this luxury place. Cleo. And ugh. I must say that I didn't get the obsession with this woman at all. Georgia seemed to worship her and always want her. It was a bit disturbing. Yeah. I did not like it.

Anyway. She ends up getting to work at this place, as she always dreamed. But she does not get to be an Aspera girl. She has to work in a small office at a computer. And she does not like it one bit. Because she feels like she is too beautiful to be doing that job. That she should be one of those beautiful Aspera girls that work the lodge, being there for their clients. Yeah. It was so weird. And such an awful place, honestly. She gets closer to the owners. Cleo and her husband. Gods, I hated him. I hated him so much. Shudders.

There is just so much going on in this place. Despite this book not being that long. But it did take place over many weeks, I think. There were some weird time jumps. But yeah. We get to know more about this special place. How things work there. Like the scene with a famous movie star, who gets her drunk and kisses her and almost does more to her. I hated it. And then worse happens later on. And she wants it, despite her being in love with Nora, maybe. She likes being in control of a powerful man. I think. Maybe.

And I just cannot get past it. Not at all. These older men all wanted her, because she was beautiful. But she was only sixteen. And she did not seem to get that it was all wrong. That things like that should not be happening. So. Yeah. I really not like this. There was a scene where the boss fucks her. And she lets it happen, thinking she will get to be an Aspera girl after. Then a scene a little later, where he wants to fuck her again, and she does not want it, so it ends up being a rape, but off page. This was way too disturbing.

I just shared too much about what happens in this book. But I couldn't not write about it. I'm disturbed. I'm fully upset. I did not want to read about these things happening to such young girls. And yet, I know this is somewhat real too, as I have watched a lot of true crime. But still. Reading this book was a little too much for me, as it was a bit too graphic at times and too disturbing, considering how Georgia was acting during all of this as well. And then the ending wasn't even good either. Ugh. I'm honestly so disappointed, haha.

Anyway. I have now written way too much about this. Time to come to an end. I just. I really did want to love this story. And I did love parts of it. But I sadly did not love the girl. I did like her, and I did somewhat get her. But she was a bit too much with how she loved her own beauty and how she learned to use that. She was only sixteen. Ack. So yeah. I'm the Girl was an important book filled with disturbing scenes. But it was also a little too much for me, so just a two star. Still. I'll always read a book by Courtney Summers.

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